Henry Nouwen on Forgiving the Church

"When we have been wounded by the Church, our temptation is to reject it. But when we reject the Church it becomes very hard for us to keep in touch with the living Christ. When we say, "I love Jesus, but I hate the Church," we end up losing not only the Church but Jesus too.                                                                                                                                       

                   

The challenge is to forgive the Church. This challenge is especially great because the Church seldom asks us for forgiveness, at least not officially. But the Church as an often fallible human organization needs our forgiveness, while the Church as the living Christ among us continues to offer us forgiveness.

                                                                                                                                             

It is important to think about the Church not as "over there" but as a community of struggling, weak people of whom we are part and in whom we meet our Lord and Redeemer."

            

- Henry Nouwen   www.henrinouwen.org

Comments

[alistair mackinnon]

Im sorry but I cannot agree with Nouwens in principle. As a fallible community of humans yes, but as a body, no.
This continues to allow the church to continue 'wounding' without seeking to ask for forgiveness. If I did that as a human, my christianity even to myself would be in question. As a collective it ought to be doubly so. Tell the partner to return to the abuser -you know they're not asking for forgiveness overtly, but you know underneath they do.
Unfortunately 'the church' is not willing to undergo this personal scrutiny, if this were a secular organization there would be strict controls set and as an organization would be hauled into court. (as is being done)
The church has to be openly apologetic: 'hey guess what we messed it up, we've burned, maimed, fleeced the flock, shamed blamed, condemned, and killed humans. Overtly and covertly.
We are truly repentant and here and now make a commitment to seek those we have harmed and to make our peace with them, if possible.
We, the church, have offered unmeetable expectations to people and placed burdens on individuals that they cannot fulfil. For this we are truly sorry and ask your forgiveness.
Yours
your brothers and sisters in Christ

If the function of the church is to teach the commands of Christ, then what are the commands. If we are to mature, does the church act maturely and in love and as 'church' let us take the logical next step and do what Nuowen suggests and really test ourselves and our faith. Let the 3,500 protestant denominations, the greek and russian orthodox, armenian, assyrian, ethiopian...etc let us return to the Holy Mother Church, seeking forgiveness for our departure, and lack of faith in the teachings, traditions and doctrines of our Holy Mother Church.
Mea Culpa, mea culpa.

But if the church is not acting under the holy spirit, loving patient, kind, (1 cor.13 etc) and demonstrably so where do the wounded christians go?
The pub?
At least in a pub you know what your all there for, and people behave accordingly, step outside of that and your in jail.

[Amanda Beach]

I think a lot of people forget that there is a BIG difference between church buildings and the actual Christians that make up the body of Christ throughout the world. Just because a group of people meet in a building and claim they are a church doesn't mean they are disciples of Christ, and just because (especially in America) someone claims to be a Christian, doesn't mean they actually have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ the Savior. When a group of people meet together with the purpose of growing others closer to Jesus, it is a beautiful thing.

[Pastpr Nicanor Tamang, Nepal]

The church is the body of Christ and He is the Head. If we say say I hate the body we believe in a headless Jesus and that is absurd

[Angry Christian]

I got threatened in church. VIOLENCE in church is where I draw the line when it comes to forgiving. That makes it hard to forgive. Or at least to trust the church. Consider this hypothetical situation: One can forgive a child-molester. But can one trust him go near children unsupervised?

[Dan]

For those asking, this was something that was sent from the www.henrinouwen.org web site. they send out daily emails from sections of things he wrote. it didn't say what book it was from.

[Len]

Thanks for sharing that quote. I wish more believers could admit and even embrace their faults, struggles and overall messiness. When we do, we encounter a whole new dimension of grace and grace is what it's all about.

[snoop]

thanks for this... this is where i am at right now.

[Andrew Northern]

Thanks for posting this. In my life, though I spent 4 years at a Bible College, all four years were consumed with "forgiving the church". I had been a part of a highly conservative church, and many occurances during my high school years really soured me on church. But learning to forgive that church and find a new love for church in near my college healed me in unimaginable ways.

[Friar_Tuck]

What book is this from?

[Carol]

Aj, thank you for your insight. Your comment offered a perspective I hadn't considered in quite that light before.

[Eric Coomer]

Thank you. I needed to read that.

[Roman]

I halfway agree with this. I was going to a church for a long time where it was preventing me from growing in Christ, when I regected it, I began to really grow stronger in my faith. On the other side, I've been to churches that when I was there for just one sermon, I cam out even closer to Christ than I was before. The church I mentioned first was more "consumer driven" you can say. The second was, well, authentic and real.

[Sense Light]

I am working on this. Slowly God is softening my heart towards the body. I guess I am at the grieving stage currently on the way to forgiving, but it's a hard step to take. It is a step of faith for me, I believe, because it means that I accept the church where she is and love her unconditionally. Which in the end means that I have to have faith this was all in God's plan in the first place. Just like the fall in the garden of eden. I wonder how many times Adam and Eve sat outside the garden and thought - "This isn't how it was suppose to be".

Searching,
Sense Light

[kbartha]

Great quote. This is an important teaching for anyone seeking to live cruciform...

In "Sanctorum Communio" Bonhoeffer (in the spirit of Barth and Kierkegaard) offers,

"Community with God exists only through Christ, but Christ is present only in his church- community, and therefore community with God exists only in the church.

Every individualistic concept of the church breaks down because of this fact. The individual and the church have the following mutually conditioned relationship:

the Holy Spirit is at work only in the church as in the community of saints; thus every person who is really moved by the Spirit has to be within the church- community already; but, on the other hand, no one is in the church- community who has not already been moved by the Spirit.

It follows that in moving the elect who are part of the church- community established in Christ, the Holy Spirit simultaneously leads them into the actualized church- community.

Faith is based on entry into the church-community, just as entry into the church- community is based on faith."

[Jeff Kinzli]

Dan, that's an interesting perspective, thanks. I just got your book (Emerging Church) and started reading it today. Also on my list is attending VF Church (I'm in Santa Cruz) and I'm looking forward to it. Thanks...

[brian]

Great stuff dan--I just wrote an article for relevant--"Why you don't like church"--I love this quote by Nouwen. Thanks for posting it. I'm working through some of this stuff too.

[tray]

Wow... I was just on the bus with a guy that said he had bounced around from church to church and found he always felt alienated, like he wasn't a part of the click so he decided to just study the Bible on his own and not go to church at all. It was kind of sad. I wanted to reach out to him, but I wasn't in his conversation, just eaves dropping.
tray

[Aj]

I was just thinking about this type of thing this morning! While sharing her personal journey, a friend mentioned how she had this overwhelming ache that she tried to fill with her husband, and then church activity, but really it was an ache that could only be filled by Christ.

It's easy to say to the church, "I want you to fill this hole" and it's easy for the church to say, "Okay!" But then people get disappointed and sad and hurt and eventually angry when these incorrect expectations aren't met. I need to forgive the church for not measuring up to my unmeetable expectations and to recognize, to journey with it in its true purpose: helping others encounter the True Filler of that hole, that ache - the One who knows our purpose and brings us into His perfection. Thanks for the quote.

[iphy]

ouch.

[Daniel Greeson]

amen